They know it’s mom, not really a tooth fairy. We still celebrate with hiding a long worked on tooth finally disengaged under the pillow for the exciting morning surprise. But this time… the “tooth fairy” (aka – mom) failed to deliver. Exhausted the night before fell asleep on the couch after everyone else was tucked away for the night. Rare for me, and I awoke briefly to move myself to bed. And I was out.
He said nothing the next morning when the surprise was not there. Nothing. All day nothing. Absolutely nothing. At 2pm I panicked when I gazed into his room and the reality hit that I had not delivered!! I could share the thoughts I had of how I might secretly try and make this right… and then I was struck with the conviction of honesty, as well as… the Holy Spirit implanted in me immediately “all things work together for good” Romans 8:28 to cover over the condemnation that tried to creep in. Somehow there has got to be something good that comes from mom’s honest mistake. And it did!
He held the sadness in all day. That is what really made me so sad. I felt sad that I was the cause of the sadness, but also found God showing me how this was an answer to a prayer I had been praying days before. “Lord, please help me understand what is inside of him, please draw out those inner thoughts that I know are there but struggle to come out”. While I shared the truth, was repentant, and asked for forgiveness, the Lord led us down a path of answered prayer. HE shared how sad he was. I shared how THAT is “those things inside that I have told you about that I don’t want you to keep inside, but to bring out through your words”. How bad I felt that he carried that weight of disappointment within him so long, and how I WANT to hear about all the feelings inside. His initial attempt at describing his feelings was not really feelings but a matter of fact “I thought what in the world when I didn’t see it”. As I explained “what in the world” is not the feeling. And then emerged… ” I felt really sad”. Pulls at my mama’s heart strings, but God is covering me with His grace with a boy so forgiving, understanding, and opportunities to REVEAL truth hidden inside of my boy one piece at a time. It was a REAL caught in the act way of pointing out to my boy – THIS is IT, THIS is “THOSE THINGS” that we want to hear from you about. THOSE are the FEELINGS INSIDE that should not stay inside, but will be a help to share outside with your words to others.