Boy Who Gave His Lunch Away Can Be A Mother’s Story Too

flood gates

The other day I reflected on this past year in training up our boys. I said, “Lord please take what I have offered.  It seems so small and I wonder if I have offered enough.  However small it may be I pray and believe you would multiply it to the measure and way you choose”  I reflected on John 6, when a boy offered something small to help feed a hungry crowd.  The disciples’ initial response at the offering was to comment on how insignificant the amount was to feed the thousands of hungry souls.  Yet Jesus took that offering  and blessed it and multiplied beyond measure.

Last night God did something profound. Revealing He is taking my offering at times seems so insignificant, yet because of the power of the great love through Jesus, is multiplying it. He has been leaving me in shock and awe at the things that are coming from within and spilling out to reveal His power at work. I only share in honor of the Lord Great & Mighty because HE IS worthy to be honored and praised.

I have prayed continually for years for the quiet inward focus, quiet in words and expression, for outward expression in a Godly light, for awareness of more of the world around rather than being secretly tucked away within, specifically lately for emotional connections ultimately for the sake of living relationally with the Lord and Savior.

“mom, I cannot believe this! (as he turned around and saw me on the couch last night). When you get up in the morning you read your bible. (with great enthusiasm and awe in his own voice) Then.. before you go to bed at night I see you reading your bible. And it’s the only book you read. Why is the bible the only book I see you reading?” Then I answered: “Well son because the bible is my treasure. If I was told I had to get rid of every book in my home and could only keep one, I would easily send them all away and hold my bible close. If I had the choice to keep all these beautiful rings that I wear on my hand that mean a LOT to me (my hubby blessed me with several before our boys came) or get rid of my bible, I would keep my bible. Son, it’s God’s Words. He wrote all these words for me. He has lots of things He wants to tell me. I get to have God to talk me! Tell me amazing things, give me help, tell me what to do for me to have a good life, tell me He loves me. Someday I’ll talk to him face to face and I’m excited about that. For now, I want to hear what He has to say to ME every single day. I love Him son. He loves me. And son, HE loves you. And He wrote these words JUST FOR YOU too, because He has so many things He wants to tell you.”

The flood gates are open!  It’s pouring out everyday in new ways, and he’s asking, asking, asking!!! Praise be to GOD!!!!

Now this is my favorite kind of multiplication!

Mothers. As we offer our hearts to the Lord in our seemingly insignificant (by man’s standard) offerings to our children.  Whether it be prayers over diaper changes, a cry in the night for a child at any stage of life, whatever it may be.  He will multiply for His kingdom purposes.

“Try ME now in this, says the Lord. IF I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing..” Mal. 3:10

 

Confession of A Weary Mom

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Weary these past few weeks. Surmounting pressure to meet an expectation that truly is from the world. Feeling the need that I must prepare my children for the world’s measuring stick of achievement that will be upon us soon. Looking to the dates set at the end of July – complying only because the world says we must. A pressure on me, thinking that this is going to measure how I am doing as their mom. Ridiculous, right? Because I have been SO exhausted I have not been able to see clearly the craziness of these claims -these lies. After a refreshing night’s sleep, the Lord again spoke to me this morning. He has been working on me, and yet I kept thinking I must press on and persevere and do more and more and more… clearly this is not the answer. Because in my efforts to do more I am not thriving as that fragrance of Christ in my home. I function with an underlying strain inside myself. Life is being sucked from me. Because I have allowed the measurement of the “world” to dictate and rule over me. What verse did God lay upon my heart as soon as I awoke this morning – the same one He keeps putting on me for the last few weeks!!!???

“and be admonished by these. OF making many books there is no end, and much STUDY IS WEARISOME TO THE FLESH…let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter FEAR GOD and KEEP HIS COMMANDS” Ecc. 12:12-13

I am hearing from the LORD!!! I pleaded for more. I need to see the path. Sat on my couch snuggling with my boys. Isaac looked over to our kitchen with a counter piled high with books unending amongst a dirty dish, a blender, a plastic crocodile and so on.. a table full of books, drawer from our oven because we have a wild chipmunk loose for the past 3 days.. the remnants of the day before still sitting and taking over our home.

What did my son say to me? Something he has NEVER said before. As he glanced at it all he said “we have TOO many books”. I busted up laughing. Perspective. Beautiful!

A child who has lacked emotion, lacked communication, lacked expression, that the LORD has been doing His MIGHTY, MIGHTY amazing work in – today the Lord used once again to speak His WORD ! “books! there is no end.. and wearisome to the flesh”. I have worried about measuring up in academics, ending our year and being evaluated, that it has become wearisome to my flesh!!!

Morning continued on, and he spoke to me again through a writing through another sister in Christ. Here is what she shared, my comments will be in parentheses.

“Sometimes, difficult circumstances are opportunities for God to prove His faithfulness. Sometimes, we don’t need to figure it out or even make it about us, at all. (I need to stop making this about me-please God. And all I want in the end is for them to know HIM. And I can look back on this year and cry and praise God for He has done miracles in the life of this family!! Miracles!!! Showing me vividly our boys are getting to know their God deeper and deeper) Sometimes we grow in our faith by doing nothing but being still. (God is telling me to rest. Do it! And let this be all about HIM and nothing about me) So I’m working on resting, which seems counter-productive,(resting now when it seems my boys need so much help to accomplish this task ahead – regardless I walk by faith, not by sight! I will rest!) I know. Still, God’s ways are higher than mine and I’m growing in my faith by resting in Him. I don’t always have to be busy doing something to mature as a believer. Right now, it’s more about knowing than doing. And I find peace in the letting go and simply resting.” ~notes from unknown writer

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10

HE will be God who is exalted!! Not me. Oh dear Lord, You be exalted. And please forgive me for making it about me, and limiting Your power, sovereignty, and provision. You have always been faithful to me. Forgive me for not heeding to your voice sooner. I know that you are God. Help me to be still and to have the assurance in my heart and mind that You are with me. Help me in my difficult circumstances to rest in You and to allow YOU TO PROVE YOUR FAITHFULNESS INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT ON MY OWN. And I praise you OH LORD for your love that never gives up on me. Love that perseveres on my behalf and behalf of our family. IN Jesus Name, Amen.

So He made my path clear today. Instead of dragging out the impending task at hand scheduled for the end of July, we are scheduled for next week. No more trying to prepare. God will carry us and cover us. We will do what we are required to do. Remembering to fix our eyes on eternity and the things that will matter for eternity.

Today we headed out. To experience LIFE AND LIVING. A car ride singing Jesus Loves Me, and God of Angel Armies to the top of our lungs.  Isaac pointing out “mom that sign on the road says “trust in Jesus”, Maximus sharing with me how he has been enjoying reading the story of Daniel and the Lions Den during his quiet time with God.  Relaxing lunch at the mall. And guess what?  In the natural flow of living by the power and direction of the Holy Spirit – we picked up some books for awhile and read together on stage at the book store. Sweet conversation, connection, and relationship with one another.  It wasn’t’ effort, it wasn’t work, it was joyous living!! A joyous day. Gratitude pouring from the mouth of my boys. Gratitude pouring from my heart to the Lord for His way and not my own.

Is there something that you keep trying to figure out in your life that you can release to the Lord?

What is the biggest obstacle in your life that prevents you from slowing down and being still before God?

What can you do today to “know” that He is God?  If you are stuck, pray about it!

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What Am I Laboring For Today? Will It Matter?

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And on Day Five God said: “it’s TIME to hold your son”

“to everything there is a season a TIME for every purpose under heaven” Eccl. 3:1

TIME! From the beginning WE have needed more time. TIME to be on a ventilator to breathe air into his lungs before God equipping his lungs to work in HIS TIME. Extra TIME in the hospital before going home. And so on… and on and on…

Under the umbrella of protection of Almighty God in the place He has called us to in Disciple (ing) our children at home. He knows all our needs and will supply. (Phil 4:19)

When you are where God wants you, He will give you all you need to accomplish His perfect plan for your life.

May I never forget and may the HOLY SPIRIT empower me with more faith to remember these Words of His – that I may not be affected by the thoughts and opinions of other “men”. Even those held by this world in high regard, cannot possibly know the mysteries of God in what He is doing in the unseen in advocating for His children daily.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. ”
Is. 55:8-11

The word of God will produce it’s intended results in fulfilling God’s spiritual purposes. Just as the rain comes and goes to meet human needs. Thus is the WORD of God for our human needs.

I am accountable to God.

A question Solomon posed is what profit is there to our labor?

As Solomon said at the end of his life. Much was vanity!!! IF we labor for anything, labor for those things that are going to last for eternity. What am I laboring for today? Labor is all of man’s activity. Life is fleeting. I find it fascinating that the finality of this great book of Ecclesiastes, the third to last verse refers again to a common “labor” that happens in this world. “Laboring” through book after book in desperate need for wisdom. But I know God’s purpose in this “WORD” was more than literally just “books”, but the many avenues in which we search desperately for answers, help, hope in this world.  This day it could be blogs, counselors, books, and a zillion other means.

What does God show Solomon? “and further my son, be admonished by these. Of making many books there is NO end, and much study is wearisome to the flesh.” Ecc. 12:12.

Wow!!! God warns us. Laboring in vain. Will only cause exhaustion.  Because in Matthew 11:28 Jesus says:  “Come to meall you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ..”

And then THE GOD SAYS: “CONCLUSION of this whole matter… “FEAR God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s ALL!!!!” Eccl. 12:13 ALL!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!

Solomon’s final word on the issues raised, as well as life itself, FOCUS ON ONE’S RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. All of the concern for life under the sun, with it’s pleasures and uncertainties, was behind Solomon. Such things seemed comparatively irrelevant to him as he faced the end of his life. Whatever one’s portion in life, accountability to God (God! God! God!), whose ways are often mysterious (higher than human understanding), is both eternal and irrevocable.