Had my baby not lived here on earth, I know I would have seen him again. God took me through his little, blue starred nursery in a vision without him. It was 24 hours into his life outside the womb and on a ventilator.
We asked the Lord to heal him. Also submitting him to the Lord as the Father who knows best. His ways are higher. I received a blessing that night, a spiritual blessing from heavenly places. As I lay in a puddle of tears, in prayer, bible across a zippered up tummy, and no baby in my arms. I received the blessing of a peace that surpasses all understanding that guarded my heart and mind. Calming, soothing, supernatural, whisper of peace. Not knowing the outcome, whether baby would live another day for me to be his mom on this earth, or whether he would go soaring back into the arms of the Savior. God’s whisper of peace that, “Somehow, no matter what the outcome, it would be okay.” Faith to believe ( I tear up, again) that God would carry us one day at a time, no matter His plan.
A blessed gift of peace that night, like none other. A blessed knowing in my soul, that as much as my heart would break not bringing him home, I would receive blessing one day, to see him again in eternity with the Savior. An assurance that was mine, because of the gift of Salvation I received many years ago, through the shed blood of Jesus.
Purple is the color for Pediatric Stroke Awareness. I often wear purple. In fact, I may have a record breaking number of purple shirts in my drawer. Purple is my favorite color. I reflect on these words:
“She is clothed in fine linen and purple.” Prov . 31:22
In this time period, purple was expensive, and here evidence of blessing returned to this woman from God. I walk with the blessing returned to me, Isaac, for 13 years.
I celebrated my first Mother’s Day with Isaac still in the womb. The radical happenings of his birth, on a hot August night, led to him being whisked initially 40 miles away in an ambulance. And the reality of that first night, that he may be whisked all the way back to eternity into the Mighty Loving Arms of the Savior. Not only did he choose Isaac to stay, he later gave us the blessing of one more special boy. Boys who absolutely do not fit the “mold” of this world. HE used Isaac’s life to pave the way, to transform our thinking from the mindsets of this world, to being renewed with minds set more and more on God’s holy perspective. Every single life is “fearfully and wonderfully made” Ps. 139. Not fitting in, has been one of our hugest blessings! God has special plans. We will not achieve those in the systems of this world… we achieve those plans walking with JESUS with our children, along with our greatest school book, the HOLY WORD OF GOD. “do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Rom. 12:2
Wives, mothers, Proverbs 31 women, with God before, the name of Jesus on the forefront of our hearts, minds and souls – it’s a blessed calling. We have been given much.
“For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required…” Luke 12:48
As I worshiped today with the Body of Christ, my arm wrapped around Isaac. I sing! I sing… these words thinking back to his birth, and no breath, limp, lifeless, seizures, kidneys failing, concerns with his heart, a stroke, on a ventilator pumping air into his lungs… and the day the LORD began to turn things around and got news “Your baby looks like he will live”
You give life, You are love
You bring light to the darkness
You give hope, You restore
Every heart that is broken
Great are You, Lord
It’s Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise
We pour out our praise
It’s Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise to You only
As I looked to my left I have been given Isaac. As I look to my right I have been given my husband for 22 years along with our Maximus who is singing out too with lifted hands.
Not only my blessing, my Isaac was returned to me, but doubly blessed with our sweet Maximus.
Purple is a symbol and reminder and a display in my Thanksgiving to God for the blessing of marriage, the blessing of carrying children in my womb, the blessing in training them up in His Word, the blessing of heaven, the blessing of being a Proverbs 31 woman.
The blessing of walking with beautiful Proverbs 31 women. This race towards Jesus, daily. I am BLESSED by wonderful women in my life, who treasure their Savior, their husband’s, their children.
Women who honor their King, live out their lives in thanksgiving, repentance, and a deep yearning for the things that will last for eternity. Women who cherish the great sacrifice of the Savior, Who clothe them not only in purple, but strength and dignity.
The Savior’s love that took the punishment for our shame and sin, and clothes us with a robe of righteousness daily. “I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness..” Isaiah 61:10
Great blessing given to us. From death to life in the Savior – WE LIVE! “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Isaac had a stroke – which led us down a special path. It has been the path to life for every single member of this family. The miracles, the transformation in every single one of us, and the way in which we live, it’s all because of JESUS and “working all things together for good…” Rom. 8:28.
Hot August night, the prognosis is grim
In man’s understanding the “chances” are slim
Covered in prayer, God was with him there,
in the darkness of the womb,
in his struggle for life –
Nobody knew what God would do
Give it to Him – He would see it through
Baby boy born limp and cold
Didn’t know what the future would hold
Crying, praying, submitting it all
Trusting in the Lord for the impossible
Waiting, trusting, God was there
He gave us peace only He could give
Wondering and waiting, would baby live?
Tubes, machines, and sweet whispers in his ear
stroking his head, God was still near
“Jesus Loves Me” mom and dad daily sang to their son
Believing in God to continue the work He had begun
Healing, first cries, and breaths on his own
“your baby lives” the doctors told
A miracle God has performed
He chose Isaac to stay with us longer
Through it all God has made this family stronger!
Glory to You Jesus!
“for You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well…and in Your book they all were written the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16
AND WHAT DO WE SEE IN BOTH OUR SONS? ….
“Now to him who is ABLE to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Eph. 3:20
Children are a GIFT from GOD! Walking the special needs path is a unique path. My Isaac struggled with a language/relational barrier for so long. I’ve seen a look, and his special way, that I know he loves me. I’ve had special “angel” – “strangers” tell me “what you do for your son daily in walking him through to help him “see” is not overlooked by our God”. I have loved this boy, in ways that were often confusing for me to understand. The barrier in my flesh felt hurtful, but by God’s grace I was able to SEE BEYOND. And yet any tiny look or touch would mean EVERYTHING to me because I knew it took EVERYTHING WITHIN HIM to achieve this.
And WHAT HAPPENED TODAY ON THIS MAY 8TH, 2016? I WAS PRESENTED Mother’s Day CARDS BY OUR BOYS. MAXIMUS WHO NATURALLY GIVES WITH AFFECTION, WORDS AND ON AND ON….. AND MY QUIET ISAAC?
My hubby had the boys pick out their own cards this year. I was brought to tears when I opened a card from Isaac with butterflies. The butterfly has always been my special symbol of TRANSFORMATION. That is what this journey is all about – transformation – not only for Isaac, but for me, our whole family!!! So not only butterflies, but the card read: I often don’t have the words to tell you how much I love you…. I know you have given a lot for me…. I am thankful, and my respect and love is huge for you (in so many words). And then…… all on his own he wrote the most amazing words that he has NEVER initiated. HE wrote: I LOVE YOU MOM!
Some mothers may never hear those words verbally from their child. Our babies see, watch, and experience daily the LOVE of JESUS we pour out on them. The prayers we pray with them, God’s holy word we speak to them and over them. The Spirit of God is with us Christian mothers. And our little ones -they know. And a blink of an eye, a smile, a touch, a simple gesture that may be overlooked by the world as anything, means EVERYTHING and IS EVERYTHING to us!!
My Isaac knows his words are few… and doesn’t always know how to extend…. on this special day, through a Hallmark card, He WAS ABLE by God’s grace to communicate his love and adoration for me.
YOU ARE LOVED SWEET MAMA!!! By God above, by the SAVIOR who went to the CROSS, by the ONE able to give you all you need to mother. And He will bless through the lives of these specials GIFTS!!
Happy Mother’s Day!